© Daniel Roberts 1997, 2nd Edition 1997, 3rd Edition 1998
The 4th Edition of The Way It Is
is available in book form at £2.99 each from :
R & D Publishers 4 Carlos Place London W1Y 5AE
U.K.
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1 - 50 ; 51 - 100 ; 101 - 150 ; 151 - 200 ; 201 - 250
251 - 300 ; 301 - 350 ; 351 - 400 ; 401 - 450
1. PEOPLE go green with envy because they think the grass is greener on the other side.
2. YOU cannot fight everyone but you can make everyone die of laughter.
3. WHEN you attach a label make sure it can come off because things can change.
4. A FRIEND is someone who is afraid of letting you down but never does.
5. IF YOU have no problem, you've got a problem.
6. PEOPLE choose to be alone, people choose to be lonely.
7. BETTER the Devil you know than the Devil you don't but he cuts deeper.
8. NOTHING is free except what comes from within you.
9. THERE'S no such thing as an open and shut case unless you've lost the key.
10. IF SOMEONE who is strong attacks someone who is weak he is weak.
11. HATE is entwined with love.
12. FOR SALE / TO LET or to bargain.
13. IF YOU ask for something you have to say "Please", if you want to get something you have to please.
14. YOU cannot buy happiness but you have to pay the price.
15. YOU don't judge how rich someone is by how much money he has but by how much he wants, the less he wants the richer he is.
16. YOU'RE young as you look... and you're still looking.
17. WHEN you lend money to a friend you usually lose your friend plus interest.
18. IF SOMEONE deliberately overcharges you by a little, pay him a little more.
19. LAUGH and the world will laugh with you, cry and you cry alone. But you have to cry before you can laugh.
20. ALL'S fair in love and war but you'll have trouble keeping her and you'll lose the peace.
21. WHEN you advertise something make sure that what you are advertising is generally well known- NOT including yourself.
22. WHEN you're in the smallest room of the house you're nearest to God.
23. WHEN you employ a secretary be prepared to let her be privy to your secrets.
24. PERSON writing to his big family abroad: "Love from all of me to all of you".
25. BED/SIT. You don't sit on a bed.
26. LOVE all. 0-0.
27. TRUE love is never being apart but suffering while you are.
28. I'M looking at Sue. Sue's looking at Tom. Tom's looking at Kathy.
29. DON'T bite the hand that feeds you unless you're taking the poison out of the hand.
30. ASK me no questions and I'll tell you no lies. I won't make an allusion to the illusion.
31. I KNOW I love you. You know I love you. Let's compromise.
32. THE lady will not do a U turn. Well, maybe two.
33. BEFORE we can wave the handkerchief, we have to have a cold.
34. IT'S the real thing but there's little difference between reality and unreality.
35. YOU'RE an angel from any angle.
36. TELL someone you love that she has something on her lips and then kiss her.
37. NON-ALCOHOLIC to his girlfriend: "I'll only drink wine from your lips."
38. GIRLS at the seaside: Too young to handle, too old to hold.
39. DON'T get personal with personnel.
40. MOTHER - there's no other.
41. GIRL with tear in her jeans at the knee is told by passer-by: I think you have a tear in your jeans.
42. GENTLEMEN don't mind brunettes who are dark. They sometimes like red-heads because they are hot-blooded. But they prefer blondes because they are never fair.
43. A FRIEND in need is a fiend indeed.
44. WHERE'S my pen? Why is the stationery never stationary?
45. ARE you seeing him? Well, usually I close my eyes when I do it.
46. TO A valentine: I know it's meant to be a secret but I had to secrete it from my heart.
47. A TAX is money levied on a person's property, business or pleasure. A TAXI levies money to get to a person's property, business or pleasure.
48. MERRY XMAS but never be cross.
49. HOME is where the heart is but the blood runs faster.
50. YOU can't fool all the people all the time but you can fool some of the people some of the time and make a living.
Please send comments to roberts@1liners.com
© Daniel Roberts 1997, 2nd Edition 1997, 3rd Edition 1998